There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
