He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
