yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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