you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
