Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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