Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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