so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
