The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
