I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
