Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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