Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
