All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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