Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
