there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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