it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
