Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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