oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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