I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Blood and glitter go together right?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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