Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
