see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Randomize
