Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
