What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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