i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
