its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
