Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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