I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
