To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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