Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
