I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
