i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
