gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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