just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
