i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
