I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
