I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
