Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
