Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
