my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
