i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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