just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
