yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
