It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
