we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
