First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
