Where did you get a picture of my penis
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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