That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
