Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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