I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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