He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
