8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
