She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
